you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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