i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
