i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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