weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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