im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he thought i was a dude.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
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We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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