can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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