I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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