he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize