Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize