He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
