If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
