Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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