the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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