Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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