I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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