I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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