I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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