It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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