when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
