i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
