walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
