no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
