My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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