areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
