I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
