none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
