Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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