my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
