So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
