Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
