Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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