ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
