carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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