Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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