It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I can text with my tongue
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
