Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
