Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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