Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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