3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
