i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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