You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
