Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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