It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
