we have officially lost it.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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