I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
