i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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