no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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