I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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