Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
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i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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