Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
