I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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