Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
