i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
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