My boss' voice literally gives me gas
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
