3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
