I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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