as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Someone came in the potted fern
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
