So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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