I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize