I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
honey bunches of taint.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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